Happy ending massage in Bangkok: 224 shops, ranked

Bangkok doesn't hide its happy ending massage shops. It just doesn't label them. They sit behind tinted glass on the sois off Sukhumvit, above noodle shops in Ratchada, at the end of a lane in Ladprao. This guide puts all 357 of them in one place.

Each chapter is one shop, built from its own rate card where it publishes one, its Google Maps listing and its Google reviews. You get the price in baht and what that buys, the hours, the nearest BTS or MRT stop and the walk from it. Where a shop publishes no prices, the page says so. Where the only prices come from what reviewers say they paid, the page says that too.

The numbers first. Across the 215 shops with prices on record, a typical 60-minute session runs about ฿3,000 and 90 minutes about ฿3,825. At the bottom of the range, a few shops list plain Thai, foot and oil massage from a few hundred baht, Marina Massage out at On Nut among them. At the top end, VIP rooms with jacuzzis go well past ฿5,000.

Most of the action is on one line. Phrom Phong alone has 88 shops and Asok 48, so the Top 20 reads like a walk down Sukhumvit. And the night is long: 191 shops stay open past midnight, 36 of them round the clock.

The menu at the top is the guide's spine: ten 'best of' lists, each a short volume you can finish on the BTS.

• The Top 20 ranks the whole city.
• Sukhumvit, Asok and Phrom Phong cover the three stretches with the most doors.
• Late night is for after midnight.
• Under ฿2,500 is for the budget.
• VIP rooms is for when the budget isn't the point.
• By the BTS keeps the walk short.
• Four hands and couples list the shops whose own menus offer them.

Every list is ordered the same way: Google rating, weighted by how many people left one, so a 5.0 from three reviews doesn't jump a 4.8 from three hundred. A few featured shops are placed near the top, and each list says so.

Bangkok rate cards are short and blunt. A shop lists a session, a length and a number: 60 minutes, 90 minutes, sometimes a 'VIP' or 'jacuzzi' room that costs more. Some add a second therapist, an outfit or a bigger room as extras. The figure in the pink starburst on each shop's page is the cheapest full session on its card, extras left out. Read the length next to it before you read anything else.

Prices here come from three places, and every page tells you which. Best is the shop's own published menu. Next is a listing on another directory or a field report, labelled as such. Last, for 28 shops that publish nothing, are prices Google reviewers say they paid. Those are marked 'reported', and they are not a menu. Whatever the source, prices change. Confirm at the door before you agree to anything.

Nearly every shop on these pages is given with its nearest BTS or MRT stop and the walking time, and 199 sit within a short walk of one. The Skytrain stops running around midnight, so for a late session plan the ride home: a taxi or a ride-hailing car from the end of the soi is the usual answer.

On a phone, open near you sorts the shops around you by distance and shows which are open right now. The street map puts all 357 on one screen. For the bigger picture (prices by district, how many stay open late), turn to Bangkok by the numbers.